Dating today feels like trying to catch butterflies in a windstorm—so many options, yet so few that actually land where they’re supposed to. If you've ever found yourself asking, “How do I attract the right kind of man?”, you’re not alone.
We’ve been taught to think attraction is all about strategy: the perfect hair flip, waiting exactly three hours to text back, or pretending to laugh at jokes that barely tickle. But what if attracting a man isn’t about playing the game—but instead, learning how to be more yourself?
I used to think something was wrong with me. I wondered, What do men really think? Do guys want to be chased? How do I get someone to actually see me?
And then I stopped performing—and started connecting. And I found a whole new world of possibility, including MixerDates, a dating community that celebrates real connection over gimmicks.
So if you’re ready to attract men by being more of you and less of who the world tells you to be, let’s talk.
Table of Contents
What Do Men Really Think?
Big Turn Ons That Go Beyond Looks
Do Guys Want to Be Chased?
How to Get a New Boyfriend—That Actually Feels Right
Your Soft Power: How to Get a Man to Chase You
Let’s Talk: What Attracts the Right Men
FAQ
What Do Men Really Think?
Here’s the thing: Men aren’t a monolith. But most of the time, they’re thinking a lot less about whether your eyeliner is perfect and more about how you make them feel.
We’re told to constantly analyze what men want. “Don’t be too available.” “Don’t talk too much.” “Pretend you’re busy even if you’re not.”
But the truth is, men—just like women—want someone who makes them feel seen, respected, and appreciated.
Some guys love the chase. Some love a woman who takes the lead. But all guys? They crave authenticity, even if they don’t say it.
A guy I met on MixerDates once told me, “You had this calm energy that made me feel safe to be myself. That’s what got me.”
Translation? It wasn’t about the dress I wore or the fact that I didn’t text back immediately. It was that I let him feel like he could breathe around me.
Big Turn Ons That Go Beyond Looks
Let’s be honest—physical attraction matters. But if you think men are only about looks, you’re selling yourself way short.
Here are 5 huge turn-ons for men that have nothing to do with your body:
- Confidence With Warmth
- It’s not just about being bold—it’s about being open. When you show up like your energy matters, they notice.
- Curiosity
- Asking a man about his goals, what makes him laugh, what he's scared of? That’s magnetic. People remember how you made them feel heard.
- Passion for Something
- Whether it’s photography, your startup, cooking Korean food—when you light up about your thing, it makes you glow. That’s hot.
- Laughter
- A woman who laughs from her gut, who doesn’t take herself too seriously? Unbeatable.
- Emotional Intelligence
- Knowing when to give space, when to lean in, how to talk about feelings without drama—that’s a whole new level of sexy.
On MixerDates, I met people who weren’t just swiping to waste time. They cared about depth. It was the first time I felt like I could actually show up as me—and it changed how I dated forever.
Do Guys Want to Be Chased?
It’s the age-old question: Do men want to be chased?
Here’s the real answer: Some do. Most want to be chosen. There's a big difference.
Men like to feel wanted, just like women do. But being chased—relentlessly pursued—can feel like pressure. Being chosen, on the other hand, is about being seen and appreciated without being smothered.
You don’t have to play hard to get. Just be intentional. Here’s how:
- Give green lights, not full-blown traffic signals.
- Smile. Make eye contact. Compliment something small. You don’t have to throw yourself at someone to show interest.
- Mirror the energy.
- If he texts often, respond in kind. If he’s pulling away, don’t lean harder. Keep your vibe balanced.
- Live your life.
- Men are drawn to women with momentum. You’re not a pit stop—you’re a journey. Invite him to walk with you, not carry you.
How to Get a New Boyfriend—That Actually Feels Right
Wanting a new relationship doesn’t make you desperate—it makes you human. But how you go about it matters.
Start with you. Ask:
- Am I healed from my last situation?
- Do I know what I want—not just what I don’t want?
- Am I dating to connect, not to fill a void?
When I first signed up for MixerDates, I’ll be honest: I didn’t know what to expect. But something about the vibe felt different. People talked about real things. They had opinions, dreams, quirks. It was a place where being a little weird was… attractive.
The key to getting a boyfriend who feels right is showing up as someone you would want to date. You don’t have to fake it. You just have to be a little brave—and a little open.
Your Soft Power: How to Get a Man to Chase You
Here’s a secret: The best way to get a man to chase you is to stop chasing love—and start attracting it.
Soft power is your magnetic pull. It’s the way you make people want to lean in, not because you demand attention—but because you’re so grounded in your energy, they can’t help but want more.
How to channel that?
- Have standards, not walls.
- Boundaries show what you’ll accept—and what you won’t. That’s attractive.
- Be busy building a life you love.
- Men fall in love with how they feel when they’re part of your world. Make it vibrant.
- Respond, don’t perform.
- Stop trying to win him. Let him win your interest by showing who he is.
MixerDates was the first place I felt like I didn’t have to pretend. I wasn’t competing. I was just… connecting. And in that space, something real started to grow.
Let’s Talk: What Attracts the Right Men
So, let’s wrap it up.
If you’ve been twisting yourself into someone you’re not just to get attention—breathe. You don’t have to keep doing that.
How to attract men? Be whole. Be curious. Be alive.
The right ones? They don’t just like the surface. They want the soul.
You’re not too much. You’re not too emotional. You’re not asking for too much. You just haven’t met someone who’s ready enough to match you.
And that’s why I believe in platforms like MixerDates. It’s not about fitting into a mold. It’s about finding your match by showing up as you.
So if you’re ready to stop guessing and start connecting…
👉 Join MixerDates — where attraction meets authenticity.
FAQ
1. What are big turn ons for men that aren’t about looks?
Confidence, curiosity, passion, humor, and emotional intelligence top the list. Men crave women who feel good in their own skin.
2. Should I chase a guy or let him come to me?
You can show interest—but let him meet you halfway. Mutual energy builds deeper attraction.
3. How long does it take to attract the right man?
There’s no timeline—but when you’re aligned and intentional, things often move faster than you think.
4. Why do men pull away when things feel good?
Sometimes it’s fear, sometimes timing. The right one won’t pull away—they’ll lean in.